The changes

UPDATE: When you clear the cookies from your internet browser, the new hit counter recognizes you as a new visitor, and counts you again. I had been constant clearing my cookies and added about 5 or 6 to the counter without knowing. I'm resetting it because I'm anal, and knowing that the number was incorrect was bugging me. :)

With a new year, comes new experiences. Some good. Some bad. Some great.

It's 2011. Changes are coming! To start out, I've added a few things to the widgets on the right side of the page.

1. There is now a hit counter for the site. It's going to be counting unique users only, meaning it will only count you once. I had one that I was using before, but this one is much more simpler and I've managed to sift the annoying advertisements out so all that was left was a simple number.
2. I've added a Formspring button. Formspring seems to be slowly blowing up on social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. If you don't know what Formspring is, it is a site where you can anonymously ask me, or any other user with a profile, anything you'd like, anything at all. If you ask question, I'll be sure to try to answer it in a future blog post.

That's all I have on the widgets-side of things, but I'm looking for a couple more. If you've got any suggestions, sound off in the comments below.

Now onto slightly more serious things. I was going to go a little negative with this post, but with everything else I have to talk about, it would be too out of place. So let's move on from that and go to a happier place...my house. It's been completely torn apart, repainted, re-carpeted, and reorganized. My room has a lot more space that it did before. My flat screen (I got a flat screen for Christmas, by the way :) ) is now at the foot of my bed, making it a lot less straining to watch television or play a game, not that it was before. My closet still needs to be painted, as will the outside of the house eventually.

My lifestyle is changing rapidly with the return of school and the return of an actual social life, which I am thankful for. I don't spend all my time at home playing games or watching tv. My PS3 is mostly used for music at this point. My sleep patterns are finally back to normal too. Waking up at seven or eight during the week for classes will do that to you.

Speaking of classes, they are going great. I've had five Psychology classes, which I am flying through easily right now, and I've had two Cardio Kickboxing classes. Psychology is great. I have two friends in the class. That makes everything so much easier. You can bounce questions off of each other without worry of being judged as knowing less than everyone else. That's how I see it anyway. And it turns out my "Cardio" Kickboxing is more kickboxing than a plain, simple aerobic cardio workout. We're actually using sparring pads and throwing punches. I assume the kicking will come later. Right now, it's all about finding our stances and punching the shit out of each other. Good times... I actually wish I had this class more often. It's only two days a week, which isn't enough for me. Gimme more!!!

I might post again later today. If I don't, then I will tomorrow. I have so much to talk about. 'Black Swan' and Dream-speak anyone? Yesss.

It's 2011 and THE CHANGES have begun. Here's to creating some more!

Time flies...for most people.

No  more drama, not too much anyway, at the moment. That's bound to change soon enough. It's been a while. I got into my Psychology class, and I'm also taking Cardio Kickboxing for a PE credit. Can't wait!! I've been wanting to take Psychology since my high school Psych course ended last year.

That was last year. It's 2011 now. TIME FLIES...FOR MOST PEOPLE. 2010 seemed like the longest year of my life. I graduated, went to California, went to Florida, and started college. I really don't have much to say right now. I was just looking for a way to waste some minutes as I wait for class to start. I may or may not edit this later if I remember. We'll see.

Happy 2011 everyone!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Life is better.

I've learned recently that one should always reach for what they want and create their own happiness, because it doesn't always come as easily as people might hope.

It is late, and I keep telling myself that I need to reset my sleeping schedule, due to college starting back up soon, but my body just doesn't want to sleep. I suppose it's mostly my mind; the thoughts racing and scenarios of the following day's events unfolding, as if I can change what happens by seeing every possible path beforehand. Am I the only one with this problem? I've been looking to the future a lot these past couple of months. I look at every possible outcome before I act on an urge or an impulse, which then causes me not to act at all from fear of certain outcomes, because I always make the negative endings outweigh the positive endings. What I didn't realize was all of the negative possibilities make the positive outcome so much sweeter in the end.

That's my mini-rant that, until going through and proofreading the post, I didn't realize was so short. Explanations shall come in the following days. For now...LIFE IS BETTER, because I reached and brought about my own happiness.

Content.

I wanted to put up another post, but I wasn't sure what to talk about this time around. I usually go on and on about the drama in my life, but there hasn't been any lately. And for that, I'm thankful, but it makes for a lack of intriguing blog posts. I could always bitch about my friends and their lives, but there are some that I know read this blog and, while I wouldn't mind saying it to their face, I'm not going to put it out into the open and if you're questioning whether or not I am talking about YOU, I probably am.

My life, while being undramatic, is quite uneventful for the time being. Maybe that's what makes it so calm and peaceful. Maybe the lack of events makes for a less drama-filled life, if that makes any sense at all. I'm spending all my time away from my home and in somebody else's, because I still long that change of environment; something new in my life. I don't like putting forth the effort for a change, so I welcome the fact that I can drive ten minutes and be in somebody else's life and out of my own.

It may sound like I'm being a downer again, as I have been in previous posts, but that really isn't the case. I'm not extremely happy, but I'm not depressed either.

I'm CONTENT.

The end of days.

Welcome to the eleventh post. It feels like I've been posting a lot longer than that. Everything is working out now. I had to reach my low-point in order to rise above everything else. I'm hanging with my old "crew" again, and it's an amazing escape.

Now some insight into my life. I realized recently, a couple of minutes ago actually, that when you grow up privileged like I did, it is very easy to get bored with life. I have everything, get to do anything, so where's the excitement? That's why I try to leave the house as much as I can and go to my friend's apartment lately. It's a much welcomed change in scenery. Now that school is out for the month, with the exception of a final in College Trigonometry this next Wednesday, I really need to find other things to do. The babysitting gig I had going for a while is being put off another month, so we'll see what happens when January comes around. I'm actually doing good without a steady source of income, which is really surprising. I'm discovering what my "wants" are and what my "needs" are. Once you figure that out, you will find that money doesn't become much of a problem.

And I moved up the wait list for Psychology last night, which makes me happy. I really want to get into that class for Winter quarter, but if I don't, it won't be the end of the world.

P.S. Yes. It will be. THE END OF DAYS shall be upon us if I don't get what I want!

Help.

Life hit hard and the shit hit the fan. I survived the storm and now the sun is out. The aftermath will still be there tomorrow, but I'm making the most of it.

I'm a person of habit. It took a recent experience to get me to realize what I am.

I am a chameleon. I shape myself to be what other people want, and I've accepted it for so long that I can't even see the real me anymore. I am a different person to everyone around me. The son that keeps to himself and doesn't get in the way. The babysitter that cares deeply for your children and wants nothing more than to help you out. The friend that always wants to HELP you with your problems when he can't even solve his own. I don't feel like myself lately. I think I see what other people need and I act on it, and I'm not always right.

I'm craving attention I never sought out before. My life is SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLE. Go to school. Get a job. I am going to school, but I don't have time because I'm trying to help these kids out because their father selfishly left them and I feel like it's falling on me to be there. Which means I can't get a job, because these kids SHOULD come first. I SHOULD come first. What about me? My life isn't my own. I live for other people and never for myself these days. It's ruining me. I don't know where I'm going with this. It's four in the morning and I'm rambling. Here's what I DO know.

A friend asked me what I wanted the other day. And at first, I didn't want to admit it, but I want to move out and have a fresh start. I wish I could cut all ties to the past and begin again. New. Living for MYSELF, but also for OTHERS at the same time.

Help.

Riding out the storm.

Life is moving forward and I'm not ready to go there yet, nor do I want to. I like the carefree life I used to have. I'm stressing over money. Since when did that happen? I used to throw it around like it was nothing. Now I'm checking my bank account every day to be sure that I have something. Things are changing, and not just financially.

My friends are changing. Those friends are hanging out with new people, as am I. We're drifting apart and I'm not doing anything to stop it. These things happen after high school, but nobody wants to admit it. You can try and keep in touch, but the reality of it is, the people you thought you knew way back when won't be the same people five years from now. I can't wait for my high school reunion, even if I did just graduate this past year. I want to see the change; to see what people have become.

I'm ranting and trying to think of something to say, but I can't put my thoughts to words right now. I wish I could restart knowing everything I knew now. I would know what was a waste of time and I could right my wrongs and I could change EVERYTHING. Even now, I'm wishing things could change in the present, but I don't know how.

Life is a storm.

I'll ride it out and see what happens.